What’s Wrong with Demanding an Apology from Oprah for Dr. Oz: Three Reasons

So on November 1, 2022, this is what Bette Midler posted on her Twitter account.

This really incenses a lot of Black women because it gives, well, have you seen “The Help”? The idea that Black women are responsible for seeing to it that white people stay pleased, comfortable, and happy always and forever.

1. It is immature.

How are you going to grow, learn, & be strong if you don’t take accountability for your own decisions? All of them.

It is infant/toddler-size behavior to expect a businesswoman to apologize because you, *a fully grown adult*, made a choice to support someone. She is not your “mommy”. Infant. Toddler.

Very grown people want “apologies” for choices *they* made?

Might I add that they had the privilege to make these choices. Dr. Oz was seen on television, heard on radio, and read in magazines. Not everyone had access to such luxuries on an everyday basis to consume his content.

Others may not have had the time. They may not have had the money. But some who did, chose to consume his content. In spite of there being other and better choices available.

You made a choice. It didn’t work out. Such is life.

Privilege gives you choices that o thers don’t have. Use them wisely and well. These are not kids making these demands. You’re grown & growing. Be that. Stand in that.

Oprah, women, Black women aren’t your mommy or your mammy.

First Rule of Misogyny:

“Women are responsible for what men do.”

2. It is sexist.

Name one male businessman who celebrities and influencers demanded an apology from. We buy goods and services every single day. They don’t always work out. But, who is making it their mission to demand an apology?

If you do let me know, because I have a whole lot of stuff & services that I purchased that hasn’t worked out for me.

Meanwhile, keep unlearning this false belief that women are responsible for a male’s choices & bad behavior.

And, Bette Midler is a member of a demographic who voted for the worst president that this country has ever seen.

(45%-50%+ of white women who voted)

One who appointed members of the Supreme Court that is currently bushwhacking the rights of women and girls. Voted for Trump OVER a woman who was the most qualified person to ever run for the job.

Before Trump was elected, he already had a track record of vile behavior. Racist. Sexist. Rapist. But that didn’t deter some women now did it?

Not just voted for Trump but stood by the vile things that he did, the vile things he said, and the vile people he appointed. And, many white women supported him. And kept supporting him.

Oprah wasn’t elected. She is not the maid. She is not your mommy. She is a businesswoman. Stand in your choice. If it was a mistake, admit that, make amends, & keep moving. Let it grow you.

3. Yep, it is racist.

This is some very “Miss Millie” like behavior.

(1) 1. The Color Purple (Full Movie — 34/50) Sofia Becomes Millie’s Maid — YouTube

(1) The Color Purple (1985) — Hell No — YouTube

Name one white woman that celebrities and influencers repeatedly demanded an apology from. Further, people of color deal with racist influencers who make millions off their racism and hate





In fact, there are some white people who will celebrate these folks even more BECAUSE they know that they are racist. No one says a word. And these folks keep profiting off of hate.

You can’t live it up nice in a country that refuses to apologize and make a financial amend to Black people and demand an apology from a Black woman who climbed to success anyway because you continued to support yet another white man and it didn’t work out for you. Awwww.

Oprah isn’t above criticism. No Black woman is. No woman is. But no other person should be asked to take accountability for choices that you made. Women should not be asked to take accountability for choices that men make. When do we ever ask men to take accountability for choices that a woman makes? When do we ever ask a man to apologize?

If we genuinely want unity among women and across the races in womanhood, we’re going to have to have to require that all women who say that they want this, be better and do better.

Stop it with the “Miss Millie” expectations of Black women. Stop the “Miss Millie” behavior. Black women do not work for you. Black women aren’t here to decorate your life and make it cozy. Like you, we are here to work with you to make this a better world for everyone.

The expectation of servanthood from Black women seems to be a hard habit to break. I hope you choose to break it.



Founder: WESurviveAbuse.com, SurvivorAffirmations.com, BraidtheLadder.org. 29 year professional expert: ending racism, domestic violence, & sexual violence.

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